Below, our friends from Skarin Law Group share five key steps to follow that can make your first meeting with a family lawyer go well.
Gather Essential Information
You do not need to have all your documents in perfect order, but bringing what you can helps your attorney assess your case accurately:
- Dates & Personal Details
- Key dates like when you separated or started living together
- Full names and birthdates of any children who are involved
- Financial Overview
- Recent pay stubs or income statements
- Tax returns (ideally covering the last two years)
- A summary of assets (home, vehicles, bank accounts, retirement funds)
- A snapshot of debts (mortgages, car loans, credit cards, student loans)
- Legal Or Court Records (If Applicable)
- Existing court orders (temporary child support, custody, protection orders)
- Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
- Key Questions Or Issues
- What concerns keep you up at night—custody schedules, spousal support, parenting time, financial security?
Know What To Expect
Most family law attorneys begin the consultation with an open-ended question, such as “Tell me what brought you here.” From there, they dive deeper into critical areas:
- What has happened so far (especially with mediation, filings, or support arrangements)?
- What is your ideal outcome?
- Are there sensitive issues—like communication breakdowns, safety concerns, or substance use—that need immediate attention?
They’ll also explain your rights and potential legal paths, discuss procedural timelines, and provide an overview of their process and fee structure.
Focus On The Right Questions
The initial consultation is also an opportunity for you to assess fit, and you deserve to understand how the attorney works and whether their approach suits your needs. Consider asking questions like:
- Do you specialize in this kind of case?
- What are realistic options and outcomes?
- How do you approach settlements (through mediation, negotiation, or court hearings)?
- What should I do now to protect my interests (documents to collect, communication to track, etc.)?
- How do you structure fees and billing?
- What is your communication style and expected response time?
Head In With The Right Mindset
Facing family law matters is emotionally charged and sometimes unpredictable. Here’s how to prepare emotionally:
- Be honest about what’s happened, even if you feel embarrassed or fearful, because that information is critical.
- Set realistic expectations. Keep in mind that your attorney is there to offer possible scenarios, not crystal-ball predictions or guarantees.
- Know that it’s normal to feel emotional. Surprises may arise as timelines shift or options evolve. The process can be a difficult one.
- Understand this is a start, not the finish. The first meeting is for charting a strategy, not for confirming final decisions.
What Happens After?
Following the meeting, your attorney may:
- File temporary orders for custody or support
- Help organize your financial disclosures
- Begin negotiations or prepare for mediation
- Schedule follow-up meetings or check-ins
You’ll typically receive a written agreement covering their services, fees, and communication plan.
Being well-prepared for your first meeting with a family law or divorce lawyer can save you time, money, and stress. By gathering relevant documents, clarifying your questions, and entering with a clear perspective, you help your attorney assess your situation accurately—and help yourself feel more in control.